Don't Break the Rules

Not many people will understand this reference, so I'll provide a brief explanation (and spoilers but the statute of limitations has LONG past) but I shake my head at thee. You know who you are...

 

 

So Gremlins is a movie that came out in 1984, about a boy who received a Mogwai for Christmas.

 

 

 

Adorable, right? Well, something so cute obviously has rules to follow.

 

1. No bright light

2. No water

3. No food after midnight

 

Seems pretty fair and easy, right? Especially for smooch-worthy Gizmo? Go ahead and look at him again.

 

Awwwwwwwwww....

 

Of course, said boy breaks all of the rules.

 

First, bright light; which causes Gizmo to shriek and hide under covers.

Second, spills a glass of water on Gizmo, causing bubbling of the back and out spawns more Mogwais.

 

So water caused multiplication of Mogwais, no REAL harm done but yet, you have to abide by all the rules for these new ones, as well.

 

You learn pretty quickly that these new pets are not good, at all. So, of course, they unplug Billy's clock and he feeds them after midnight without knowing.

 

Then they hibernate in these ugly cocoons

 

 

 

until they're ready to come out into the world as this:

 

 

Pretty nast' and evil. All traces of cuddly decency have melted away.

 

Why am I discussing 80s horror/comedy Gremlins?

 

This is how I feel about books that are trending.

 

A spectaculor book is written. 

 

Then said book is exposed to bright lights and published. You shriek and read it under the covers.

 

Soon that's all anyone is talking about.

 

"Omg, have you read Cold Night, Warm Stranger?! It's the greatest thing since sliced bread!! Quinn Lassiter can give me "hot-hang-on-to-your-hat-love" any day of the week!!"

 

(Disclaimer: This is a real book and "hot-hang-on-to-your-hat-love" is a direct quote.)

 

Then, someone adds water...

 

Out sprout multiple replications of Cold Night...:

 

Hot Days, Fairly Cold Random Dude

Mediocre Afternoons, Accidental Ex-Husband

Chilly Sunsets, Foggy Guy You Met At the Bar, Who's Not At All the Creep He Started Out to Be

 

Producing "spank-my-ass-and-call-me-Sally-love" and "did-that-just-happen-I-think-I-pulled-my-pelvis-love."

 

Then someone feeds these guys after midnight and you get this:

 

 

 

Who thought it was a good idea for Fabio to write and star in his own romance novel? Who? I'd like to meet this person, take them on a rollercoaster and pay a bird to smash into their face, breaking their stupid nose.

 

(another reference you'll have to Google.)

 

This doesn't just apply to romance. This is pretty much how all trends are viewed by me, in every genre.

 

Some days, visiting the bookstore is like being surrounded by soft, cuddly Gizmos and other days...

 

I'm drowning in these guys.

 

FIN